Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Ten Great Comic Book Heroes Ruined by Hollywood

A few months ago I posted a blog looking at some of the great villains we know and love so much that were butchered by the powers that be in Hollywood. Well I promised this a while ago and now here's the reverse, a look at ten great heroes ruined by the Hollywood machine.

10. Spawn

Spawn rose to popularity in the 90's as a dark, violent, anti-hero much like Batman except Spawn had no problems with killing people in violent ways. Now granted I haven't read as much of the comics as I would like to but I'm pretty sure they're no where near as silly as the movie. The story, acting, and effects are all plain silly. The creators have been trying to revive this franchise for years and do it the right way but as is the case with most of the heroes on this list, this movie just left such a bad taste in everyone's mouth that no one will touch it.

Spawn (movie) Pictures, Images and Photos

9. Steel

For some reason, DC loves to give their movies to the supporting players of their comic book universe and not the main heroes (see Catwoman) and Steel is no exception. In the comics, Steel was a genius who left developing military weapons to be a construction worker, and then had his life saved by Superman. After Superman's death, the construction worker created his own suit of armor as a tribute to Superman and sought to continue his legacy. Steel became a very popular side character in the Superman world and Warner Brothers decided to give him his own movie starring none other than Shaquille O'Neil.

Gone is any reference to Superman and we get Shack lumbering around in the most ridiculous, least practical costume ever. He's like a less cool Iron Man/Batman but without any pathos and a silly script to go on.

steelshaq Pictures, Images and Photos

8. The League of Extraordinary Gentleman

When you read Alan Moore's The League of Extraordinary Gentleman, you can feel the extreme respect Moore had for the classic works of literature that inspired his amazing comic. All of the classic books are put into a timeline, each character made faithful, and the level of fun high. Moore also pulled a good move by having a woman, Mina Murry, be the leader of the team and responsible for keeping the unstable league together. Add in a fun plot involving the League being pawns in a war between Professor Moriarty and Fu Manchu (nicknamed The Doctor because of copyright reasons) and you have a classic and unique comic.

The movie loses all of this, all of the compelling character flaws that made the team so interesting are wiped away. Instead of a homicidal Mr. Hyde, we get a neutered, watered down hulk wannabe; The Invisible Man is the stereotypical "rogue" character; and Alan Quartermain is changed from the opium addict looking for redemption to the main hero of the film. Moriarty is still the villain, but all backstory is taken away leaving anyone who hasn't read the comic lost. Its sad that Sean Connery chose to retire after this movie (reportedly because of the on set problems) because the man truly had a great career and deserves to cap it off with a good movie.

the league of extraordinary gentleman Pictures, Images and Photos

7. Ghost Rider

Ghost Rider has always been a character with a lot of potential. He has a cool look, a cool back story, and combines horror and comics quite easily. For years Hollywood tried to get a movie off the ground and finally succeeded when Nicholas Cage came aboard, which should have been the first sign of trouble. Gone is the horror and grittiness that made the character appealing and we get something that's about on the same level as the Batman series from the 60's. Add in another epically bad Nick Cage hair piece and the most dramatic finger pointing ever seen on screen and you have one of the silliest comic movies ever.

ghost rider movie Pictures, Images and Photos


6. Captain America

Captain America has long been one of Marvel's most iconic and popular characters, so naturally they chose to give him a ultra low budget, straight to video movie. For the most part his costume is on the spot except for the RUBBER EARS on the outside of the costume. I don't know why the actor couldn't have his real ears stick out of the costume, or just not have the ears stick out. But no, we get rubber ears that distract you the entire movie.

Not to mention that the Captain America in this movie is not the hero we all know and love, instead he spends the whole movie getting his ass kicked and stealing people's cars. The American hero ladies and gentleman!

captain america 1990 Pictures, Images and Photos

5. The Punisher

This man has been handed the short stick by Hollywood not once, not twice, but three times. Much like Captain America, Marvel chose to give Punisher a low budget, straight to video movie starring Dolph "I must break you" Lundgren. For a film that could have been amazingly bad ass, we get something that's extremely boring, and Lundgren's non-performance as The Punisher doesn't help.

The second time around, we got a moderately budgeted version starring Thomas Jane. Now many people hate this version, but I must admit I'm one of the few fans this movie has, though I will admit it has its flaws. It lacks the action and grittiness that makes The Punisher what he is, and The Punisher's revenge plan is far too complicated for a character that prides himself on simplicity. But of all Punisher movies, this one is the most solidly made and most enjoyable.

Finally, we got Punisher: Warzone, which makes up for the lack of action but replaces it with pure silliness. Nothing in this movie is comprehensible, the performances are all non-existent, and I think the title character gets the least amount of screen time out of all the characters. Hopefully someday Hollywood will get Punisher, one of the simplest comic book characters, right.

The Punisher Pictures, Images and Photos

4. Robin

Robin has long been mistreated by anyone outside of comics, often seen as an annoying sidekick and at one time accused of being Batman's gay lover. In the comics, Robin is the human side of Batman, the side that keeps him from going over the edge into the very darkness he fights. In Batman Forever, we are given a new type of Robin. The whole movie all Robin does is bitch and whine to Batman and use kung-fu to hang up laundry. Towards the end of the movie it seems like Robin has finally grown a pair and dons a costume (nipples included) to help Batman fight the bad guys... only to get captured.

Then Batman and Robin happened...

Chris O'Donnell: Batman Forever -1995, Batman & Robin -1997 Pictures, Images and Photos

3. The Hulk

The Hulk is another hero that is beautiful in his simplicity. He gets mad, turns green, smashes things. When director Ang Lee signed on, many were hoping for an adult oriented comic book movie, but still a comic book movie. And we got this.

Watching this film is like watching paint dry, the Hulk doesn't even Hulk out until 45 minutes in, and then smashes... an empty building. The Hulk spends the rest of this movie running, fighting mutated poodles, and facing a hung over Nick Nolte.

The 2008 reboot helped restore the Hulk to his fun roots, but the 2003 version left such a bad taste in people's mouths that many refused to see a new Hulk movie. It goes to prove that you can get a talented director but that means nothing if that director doesn't understand or respect the source material. Fans wanted to see a movie where the Hulk smashes, not a movie where the Hulk dwells on the source of his repressed emotions and makes goo-goo eyes at Jennifer Connely (though who can blame him). Maybe one day we'll get a combination of the smash up fun of the newer one combined with the adult orientation of the Ang Lee version.

The real HULK Pictures, Images and Photos

2. The Fantastic Four

The Fantastic Four started Marvel comics, they had family drama, sci-fi action, cool villains, and sweet powers. The first time they were given the movie treatment, it was a micro-budgeted film directed by Roger Corman that was so bad that Marvel blocked it from actually being released. Then we got the 2005 version.

The newer Fantastic Four film gives us two hours of the characters standing around and whining about their powers and then we get a far too short fight scene with a neutered Doctor Doom. The family dynamic is gone, Sue Storm and Reed Richards are practically cardboard cut outs while The Thing and Human Torch do their best to pick up the slack left by the other actors and script. The sequel was almost a step in the right direction but the main characters were overshadowed by the far cooler Silver Surfer.

Fantastic Four Pictures, Images and Photos

1. Daredevil

Since the 80's, Daredevil has long been considered one of Marvel's best comics. Creators like Frank Millar, Kevin Smith, Brian Michael Bendis, and Ed Brubaker have all had a shot at the man without fear. Daredevil is a character who has been through it all and come out clean, he's dark, complex, and always fun to watch.

The problem with the movie is that it tried compressing all of his best storylines into one movie: his origin, rivalry with Bullseye and Kingpin, and romance and death of Elektra. Not only that, but all of the grittiness and complexity of Daredevil got lost in translation, we don't have a character who constantly walks the line between light and dark, but just a very angry Ben Affleck. The romance between him and Elektra is glanced over just to get to her death, and Kingpin and Bullseye are underdeveloped. Nothing about the movie seems original, instead it seems like a mash up of the Spider-Man and Batman movies when this movie should have been significantly darker than both. And don't get me started on the costume...
Daredevil Movie Pictures, Images and Photos

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